Divorce Drive

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The husband, Craig, is behind the wheel.

His wife, Jeanette, suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. “Darling,” she says. “I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”

Craig says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45 mph.

Jeanette speaks again. “I don’t want you to try and talk me out of it,” she says, “because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a far better lover than you are.”

Again Craig stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.

Jeanette continues . . . “I want the house,” she says insistently.

Craig increases the speed to 65 mph.

“I want the car, too,” Jeanette continues. “And,” she says,”I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat.”

Craig speeds up to 85 MPH.

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.

This makes Jeanette a wee bit nervous, so she asks Craig: “Isn’t there anything you want?”

Craig at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. “No, I’ve got everything I need.” he says.

“Oh, really?” Jeanette inquires, “So what have you got?”

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, Craig turns to her and answers, “The airbag.”

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