Crunch Bird

After many years of marriage, the husband had turned into a couch potato, becoming completely inattentive to his wife and sitting guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract her husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw a big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Crunch Bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Crunch Bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Crunch Bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws!

To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Crunch Bird! The shelf!"

Again the Crunch Bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

"Wow!" exclaimed the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!"

So she bought the bird and took it home. When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game.

"Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Crunch Bird!" The husband looked at her, looked at the bird, then in his usual bored tone replied, "Crunch Bird, my ass!"

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